it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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