ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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