They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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