That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
