Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
