I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am one with the molecules
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
