Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
