11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
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Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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