Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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