how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
