Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
In other news, I just burned my penis
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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