I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
