it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
