I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
