omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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