I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
