Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize