I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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