why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
