That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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