i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
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Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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