Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
