Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
