All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize