i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
