I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
