ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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