At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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