we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
