That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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