Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
