nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Be still, my beating vagina.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
