So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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