i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
