Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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