Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
