Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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