after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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