I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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