Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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