belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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