I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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