3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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