Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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