big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
