we made out on top of his cat.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
