10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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