I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
