Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
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Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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