your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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