nut hugger
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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