SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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