you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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