what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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