she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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