Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
