i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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