I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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