I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize