Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
